Tag Archives: dumb girls

Veronica Mobley (Veronica Sawyer)

18 Oct

One of my many jobs in high school (I was quite the Jill of All Trades afterall…. okay, more like the Jack actually. Lay off, jeez!) was at the local movie theater. Now… the town I grew up in was very… difficult to describe. To this day I cannot figure out if it is more po-dunk redneck or gangster ghetto. Allz I knowz is, the classiness of its citizens leaves something to be desired (present company excluded if I know you. maybe.)

Like most jobs, the movie theater had two types of employees: high school students looking to make their $5.25/hour to pay their car insurance and buy Fossil watches for their sweeties on their one-year anniversary (note: most of these students ended up marrying said sweetie) and the people that I like to call, The Best They Could Doers. Meaning, they dressed up to come to work everyday, tried really, really hard to make the best popcorn possible, and basically kissed ass until they were given an assistant manager position (or similar) and an hourly rate of $5.75 an hour.

Veronica Sawyer bewildered me because she didn’t fit in either of these categories. At first glance she seemed to be a high school student, but after forty-five seconds of conversation, it became clear that this girl probably didn’t make it out of middle school in one piece. She was a sixteen year-old dropout, but wasn’t even attempting to strive as hard as The Best They Could Doers. Here was a girl that really needed to make something of this job and she couldn’t even figure out the slushee machine. Mostly, I felt sorry for Veronica and I tried being nice to her, even though every conversation with her was worse than watching a kitten being murdered while a hyena screams in your ear.

One day, there was a problem on one of the screens, and I went upstairs to tellĀ Eric Mobley, the projectionist. I couldn’t find him upstairs at all. Now the theater I worked at was pretty old school, the projection booth was one long room along the entire length of the theater. I don’t know what ultimately made me look, maybe I heard a moan or some other noise, but I happened to glance out one of the windows into an “empty” theater. Well I found Eric. Veronica had her skirt hiked up and they were fucking right there in the middle of the theater. I mean, of course I watched them finish, but then I quietly, and respectfully went downstairs and didn’t say a word. Except to my best friend. And his brother. And his brother’s algebra class.

Flashforward ten years. Veronica Mobley (yes, she married that Best They Could Doer, even though he was 20 years her senior) and I are friends on Facebook, a friendship she initiated and I seriously considered denying. Her status updates bring me back to the days of the Innocent Kitten Slaughter. She thanks God for everything. “Diet Coke was on sale at Publix today. Praise Jesus!” “I just made cupcakes. God is good.” But the interesting thing is when she announced that it was “Mommy Day” on Facebook today, she listed the date that her first son was born. I did a little quick math, and realized that I may have actually witnessed his conception. Praise God!