I come from a rich internet lineage.

My father is a computer programmer, and growing up, we always had at least three home computers.  I remember being one of the first kids in my middle school to get on AOL.  And for as long as I can remember I’ve been getting myself into some sort of online shenanigans.  My parents grounded me in sixth grade after I proudly announced at the dinner table that I’d been in chat room telling old men that I was a 20 year old pole dancer trying to put myself through nursing school while single-handedly raising my 4 year old daughter.  In high school, I created multiple screen names so that I could fuck with my friends.  I was socially ridiculed because of things I wrote on my online journal. I made friends online, and lost friends online.  I’ve done it all: Livejournal.  Facebook.  Myspace.  Twitter.  You name the online social network, and I am or have been a part of it.

And because, in my late twenties, I am still at just about the same maturity level I was in sixth grade, I am still getting myself into all kinds of trouble online.

A few days ago, I was showing a friend of mine pictures of this girl I went to high school with who married this other guy I went to high school with and their baby pictures.  My friend asked me for some detail about this girl’s life that I didn’t know.  She said, “I thought you guys we’re friends.” And I replied, “Well, we’re friends on Facebook, but…”

And it was then that I realized I use the phrase all the time.

So I went home and really looked at the people on my friends list.  Now, I have always considered myself somewhat selective when approving friend requests.  I don’t accept ones from people I don’t know, who say I “sound cool.”  I also don’t accept requests from people I hated in high school.  If I hated them then, I’m sure they’re even more of a douchebag now. And yet so many of my so-called friends are people I barely know. What’s worse is that my interactions with most of these “friends”make for some pretty darn ridiculous stories. These are those stories.

(all of these people either approved or initiated friend requests with me. that’s pretty fucked up, right?)

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