jenn g. and alonzo almonte

24 Jun

The summer after I graduated college, when all my close friends went off to start their actual careers, I was known to get pretty wild and loose cavorting about my small town.  It was at this time, that I decided to drag Jenn G, a girl I served with at ********* in the next town over, back to the local Applebees– where nothing good ever happens.

We were sitting at the bar for less than five minutes, when we were approached by two young men.  I recognized Alonzo Almonte from high school.  We were in the same grade, but we ran in entirely different circles.  He was basically your average popular, douchey guy who dated slutty girls and asked them to take a steaming, post-coital dump on his chest.  Or at least that was the rumor going around during our sophomore year.  I did not recognize his friend.

Alonzo and His Friend were immediately taken with us, as most men usually are.  Jenn G was really into His Friend, though I, having relieved my bowels a few hours before, knew things would never work out sexually between me and Alonzo.  But I decided to take one for the team, and go home with them so that Jenn G could get laid.

*Note: This is NOT Alonzo. If it were, trust that I would have followed him upstairs.

We went back to Alonzo and His Friend’s apartment, where we got drunker and played card games.  When the sexual tension between Jenn G. and His Friend became too much to bear, the two of them went upstairs to screw.  Alone in the living room, Alonzo looked at me seriously and said, “Well.  That leaves you and me…”

I looked at him equally serious and said, “Not gonna happen.”  I assumed this was the end of the discussion, and shortly after, I passed out on the couch.

When I woke up, the sun was just coming up.  And so was Alonzo.  He was straddling me, wearing only tighty whities, which he had somehow managed to maneuver my hands into while I was sleeping.  He was also licking my face and moaning that I was his little “vale-dick-whore-ian” (a clever nickname he’d come up with because I was a: our class’ valedictorian, thus the only reason he knew who I was, and b: going to be his whore).  I immediately started struggling, trying to get him off of me, but he was very persistent.  He began begging me to come upstairs with him.  At first I declined, but after realizing I couldn’t get him off of me, I finally agreed.  He went upstairs first and called down to me repeating over and over again, “Come upstairs my little valedickwhoreian.”

While he was calling for me, I snuck out the front door and went home.  I feel really bad about leaving Jenn G. there.  But I guess there weren’t any hard feelings because a few years later, she totally accepted my friend request.

As for Alonzo, I guess he was pretty angry.  Four years later, I found out that he was telling everyone who would listen that he saw me have sex with two different guys at one party.

One Response to “jenn g. and alonzo almonte”

  1. SassyGirl July 8, 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    He sounds completely disgusting. Shoving an unconscious person’s hand down your pants – who does that??

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